How do you solve a problem like Maria?...

..How do you catch a cloud and hold it down?....   This song, made famous by "The Sound of Music", is what I think of every time I walk out of  my 7th grade Geography class.  I don't particularly like Geography to start with and teaching it is a challenge at best, but I try to make it as interesting and thought provoking as I possibly can for the students.  But this class is a little different.  Actually, they are impossible!  Since day one they have been hyperactive, noisy, rowdy and unable to understand English, it seems.  At first only the boys were rowdy , but it seems the girls have followed suit.  I have to admit I have grown to love every one of them in time, but still.......  I have tried everything to get them to calm down and pay attention. (I am not the only teacher that has this problem with the 7th grade class).   Some things, such as making them write classroom rules 5 times each or sending them to detention (well, only one of them) or giving extra homework have worked...for about 30 minutes, if that.  I have lectured them, appealed to their sense of responsibility, threatened to call their parents, sent some of them to the principal, held up a sign that says "Quiet Please" (like a Kindergarten teacher) .....nothing works!  They are all quick witted, smart and full of energy.  They literally exhaust me!  Anyway, I have recently started making the rule breakers write the meaning of the word "quiet" 100 times each.  Repeat offenders have had to write the meaning of the word "respect" 100 times as well.  It was working.  They were finally behaving and learning.  Yesterday I gave them a map skill activity (including coloring and making a key)  that I thought would be fun.......but what did they do?   They acted like Kindergarteners! First they complained, then they started arguing over crayon colors and sharing and who had the best map...and, oh my goodness! We got through it though.  Today we started our lesson and it was going really well until they all started talking at once, laughing and just generally acting rude.  I stopped mid-lesson and had them all take out a sheet of paper and a pencil.  They freaked out because they thought they knew what was coming....write the meanings 100 times!  Then they started begging and pleading..."please, teacher, we won't talk again, please!"  Ha Ha (insert evil laughter here)!   I stared them down.  I told them to write their names on the paper.  The groaning and pleading continued.  Then, in a soft voice, I said, "This is an open book pre-test.  Write the meanings of the definitions for this chapter and answer the questions in the review."  18 pairs of huge eyes were starting at me.  A collective sigh filled the room and they were finally quiet!  They began working diligently.  I burst into laughter.  They all looked up.  "I wish I had had a video camera," I said.  "You should have seen the looks on your faces; it was priceless!" I then told them that I would have posted it on YouTube with a caption that read..."My seventh graders....speechless at last!"  They all laughed until I told them to get back to work. They know I'm easy and they know I love them, but I just don't know what I will do with them.  I will keep trying everything in my bag of tricks and then some.  Something is bound to work.  In the meantime..."how can you hold a moonbeam in your hand"?    Happy Tales!