It's not cool

I am usually a very laid back, easy going kind of person, but sometimes I do lose my cool.  Yesterday was one of those times and it has been bothering me ever since.  I  had "lunchroom duty" last week and it had been reasonably uneventful until yesterday.  I was on my way into the room when I heard the distinct sound of males shouting and laughing and then a huge crash.  It freaked me out because it sounded like glass breaking and I thought maybe one of the boys had fallen through a window or some such horrible thing.  As it turned out, three of the high school boys were goofing off and one had slammed the refrigerator door so hard, while showing off, he had broken one of the shelves and knocked some of the items off.  Laughter filled the room which had begun to fill up with students.  The boy didn't even worry....he just walked away laughing and strode to his table.  My school is a small private school and doesn't have a very big lunchroom.   The kids usually put their lunches in one of two refrigerators.  Now one was damaged.  I called the three rowdy students over and told them to fix the shelf, but it was completely ruined and couldn't be fixed after all.  I told them all to follow me to the office at which point they began arguing with me.  For some reason at that precise moment, I realized that I had one last nerve and they were on it.  My fuse blew (which I hate) and I told them they better follow me to the office or they would risk suspension.  They complied.  Once we got to the office, I told the principal what had happened and ofcourse the boys denied it.  "I just shut the door and the shelf broke," said the main offender.  At that point I totally lost my cool.  (Oh how I really hate that!) "You slammed the door while showing off for your friends and didn't even care about the damages you caused," I spat, rather loudly.  "I have had it with you boys acting the way you do.  You are supposed to be leaders and you act worse than second graders," I continued.  One of the boys stood there with his mouth agape, eyes huge, staring at me.  The principal was silent for a few minutes (I think even he was shocked that I was "acting out").  He finally said that the boys would have detention and be grounded from free play on Monday.  They contiued to argue.  "But we didn't do anything," they protested in unison.  Oh...my...blood...pressure!  One of my pet peeves is when people do not accept responsibility for their actions.  Just ask my children how that plays out!  Another of my pet peeves is disrespect for others.  My parents introduced  that concept to me as I was growing up, reinforced it, and I have carried it with me. Respect is important in my book....don't disrespect parents, teachers or others.  Kids today both refuse to accept responsibility and show amazing disrespect and it unnerves me.  Well, not to beat a dead horse, but I totally lost my cool and then I felt guilty for doing so.  I hate that flaw in me.  I have to grow thicker skin.  But, alas, I fear I will never change.  I went as far as to buy these same boys a soccer ball (I donated it to the school really) because they like to play soccer during free time after lunch and they always had to depend on someone to bring the ball.  They said thanks, but in my book, actions speak louder than words.  This job is something I chose to do.  And for the most part I love it.  But I hate losing my cool and I hate allowing my blood pressure to rise over something that may not have been a big deal.  But, frankly, it was a big deal.  Give 'em an inch, they take a mile.  I will continue to be who I am and occasionally I probably will lose my cool, but I am determined to teach and succeed.   

The Palestinian Depkeh

Several weeks ago one of my seventh grade students, whose country of origin is Palestine, asked me if she could show me a video on YouTube. The video was of a wedding dance called the Palestinian Depkeh which she said was awesome. I didn’t really want to pull up YouTube on my classroom computer so I promised her I would watch it at home if she wrote down the name for me. She did….and ….well, I broke my promise and forgot to watch the video. As soon as she saw me on Monday…Ofcourse….she asked if I’d watched. Sorry…..I forgot. She looked so dejected and disappointed. I had hurt her feelings. So, I promised again I would watch at home.

When I was raising my children, one of my goals was to try to never make promises I couldn’t keep. I reached that goal at times and at times, not. So, I should have learned right?……but…..again…I forgot.

So, my sweet little (and this child is so sweet it melts my heart) student asked yet again, and again I had to be honest. Nope…..I forgot….but I will watch. She finally stopped asking…..and I had that little slip of paper on my dining room table with the words “Palestinian Depkeh” written on it in her handwriting. Oh the guilt…..I can see those eyes looking at me….dejected. I don’t really know why she wanted me to watch it, but I finally remembered to check out the video. I was not disappointed. What an awesome dance! The dancers were dressed in traditional costume, and holding hands in a semi-circle, they danced around the floor for at least 10 minutes or more. It was amazing to watch…..not a missed step…..not a beat skipped. The footwork was mesmerizing. I watched it twice. I found another video of the same dance but this one was of a lone girl dancing the depkeh in a parking lot with a Palestinian flag. It too was mesmerizing and this girl was incredible at performing this dance. I found it a little weird that she was dancing in a parking lot outside of what looked like a Chinese Buffet…..and that she was using the flag as a prop…but none the less….it was worth watching. As I said, I couldn’t figure out why my student wanted me to watch the video but she was thrilled when I confessed to her that I had finally watched and that I had found an even better video as a result. Her smile lit up the room! I have always been an open minded and accepting of others, and in teaching, I am learning as well. From that little incident, watching a Palestinian Depkeh, I found that we are all the same even though we are different. We all like to dance at weddings and parties, and some of us even like to dance in parking lots. The dance is different but the happiness is the same. I never would have thought to watch a “ritual” dance of another country on purpose….but I am more than glad I did. Thank you, little student, for teaching me!
'Til next time…..Happy Tales!

Don't wish your life away.....

...and other wonderful sayings like that come from my Dad, whom I often find myself quoting to my students.  My dad, who passed away in April after a short battle with cancer, had countless witty sayings and quips that come to my mind in many cases.  For instance, whenever we would say something like, "I can't wait until Christmas," Dad would retort with "don't wish your life away".   I have said this to my students many times when they have expressed the wish that it was Friday or the weekend, and so on.  I frequently say it to my children and grandchildren as well, and I always find myself saying, "as my father would say..."  One day last week we were talking in eighth grade history class about certain people in England who would indenture themselves to escape poverty and to gain passage to what they thought would be a better life in North America.  One of the students asked,  "Why is there poverty anyway?"  After discussing the possible reasons why, I told the class, "As my father would say, the rich get richer and the poor get kids."  They all looked at me sort of confused but then seemed to get that it was somewhat of a joke.  We moved on.   Another day, in the same class, we were discussing kidnapping regarding the explorer Jacques Cartier who, on one of his expeditions,  kidnapped two Native Americans to guide him up the St Lawrence River.  The subject turned to ransom for some reason and I told the students that my dad used to say that if any of his kids were ever kidnapped, the kidnappers would have to pay our parents ransom to take us back.  The students cracked up!  I am sure Dad was just saying that, but since my parents had eight children, maybe not!  Another day it was the subject of moving away from your homeland and settling in a place far away and getting used to a new life (regarding the settlers of Jamestown and Plymouth).  As always with this class, we got a little bit off topic and began talking about times they'd moved in thier lives.  I told them that once when my sisters and I went to summer camp,  my dad told us, "We may not be here when you get home because your mother and I are going to move and not leave a forwarding address."  Saying things like this with a twinkle in his blue Irish eyes, Dad would always  make us laugh, something he was very good at.    One of the students mentioned that I always talk about my dad.  Yep....I do......and sharing his witicisms with the students I have grown to love keeps his spirit and sense of humor alive for me.  Until next time.....happy tales!

How do you solve a problem like Maria?...

..How do you catch a cloud and hold it down?....   This song, made famous by "The Sound of Music", is what I think of every time I walk out of  my 7th grade Geography class.  I don't particularly like Geography to start with and teaching it is a challenge at best, but I try to make it as interesting and thought provoking as I possibly can for the students.  But this class is a little different.  Actually, they are impossible!  Since day one they have been hyperactive, noisy, rowdy and unable to understand English, it seems.  At first only the boys were rowdy , but it seems the girls have followed suit.  I have to admit I have grown to love every one of them in time, but still.......  I have tried everything to get them to calm down and pay attention. (I am not the only teacher that has this problem with the 7th grade class).   Some things, such as making them write classroom rules 5 times each or sending them to detention (well, only one of them) or giving extra homework have worked...for about 30 minutes, if that.  I have lectured them, appealed to their sense of responsibility, threatened to call their parents, sent some of them to the principal, held up a sign that says "Quiet Please" (like a Kindergarten teacher) .....nothing works!  They are all quick witted, smart and full of energy.  They literally exhaust me!  Anyway, I have recently started making the rule breakers write the meaning of the word "quiet" 100 times each.  Repeat offenders have had to write the meaning of the word "respect" 100 times as well.  It was working.  They were finally behaving and learning.  Yesterday I gave them a map skill activity (including coloring and making a key)  that I thought would be fun.......but what did they do?   They acted like Kindergarteners! First they complained, then they started arguing over crayon colors and sharing and who had the best map...and, oh my goodness! We got through it though.  Today we started our lesson and it was going really well until they all started talking at once, laughing and just generally acting rude.  I stopped mid-lesson and had them all take out a sheet of paper and a pencil.  They freaked out because they thought they knew what was coming....write the meanings 100 times!  Then they started begging and pleading..."please, teacher, we won't talk again, please!"  Ha Ha (insert evil laughter here)!   I stared them down.  I told them to write their names on the paper.  The groaning and pleading continued.  Then, in a soft voice, I said, "This is an open book pre-test.  Write the meanings of the definitions for this chapter and answer the questions in the review."  18 pairs of huge eyes were starting at me.  A collective sigh filled the room and they were finally quiet!  They began working diligently.  I burst into laughter.  They all looked up.  "I wish I had had a video camera," I said.  "You should have seen the looks on your faces; it was priceless!" I then told them that I would have posted it on YouTube with a caption that read..."My seventh graders....speechless at last!"  They all laughed until I told them to get back to work. They know I'm easy and they know I love them, but I just don't know what I will do with them.  I will keep trying everything in my bag of tricks and then some.  Something is bound to work.  In the meantime..."how can you hold a moonbeam in your hand"?    Happy Tales!