It's not cool

I am usually a very laid back, easy going kind of person, but sometimes I do lose my cool.  Yesterday was one of those times and it has been bothering me ever since.  I  had "lunchroom duty" last week and it had been reasonably uneventful until yesterday.  I was on my way into the room when I heard the distinct sound of males shouting and laughing and then a huge crash.  It freaked me out because it sounded like glass breaking and I thought maybe one of the boys had fallen through a window or some such horrible thing.  As it turned out, three of the high school boys were goofing off and one had slammed the refrigerator door so hard, while showing off, he had broken one of the shelves and knocked some of the items off.  Laughter filled the room which had begun to fill up with students.  The boy didn't even worry....he just walked away laughing and strode to his table.  My school is a small private school and doesn't have a very big lunchroom.   The kids usually put their lunches in one of two refrigerators.  Now one was damaged.  I called the three rowdy students over and told them to fix the shelf, but it was completely ruined and couldn't be fixed after all.  I told them all to follow me to the office at which point they began arguing with me.  For some reason at that precise moment, I realized that I had one last nerve and they were on it.  My fuse blew (which I hate) and I told them they better follow me to the office or they would risk suspension.  They complied.  Once we got to the office, I told the principal what had happened and ofcourse the boys denied it.  "I just shut the door and the shelf broke," said the main offender.  At that point I totally lost my cool.  (Oh how I really hate that!) "You slammed the door while showing off for your friends and didn't even care about the damages you caused," I spat, rather loudly.  "I have had it with you boys acting the way you do.  You are supposed to be leaders and you act worse than second graders," I continued.  One of the boys stood there with his mouth agape, eyes huge, staring at me.  The principal was silent for a few minutes (I think even he was shocked that I was "acting out").  He finally said that the boys would have detention and be grounded from free play on Monday.  They contiued to argue.  "But we didn't do anything," they protested in unison.  Oh...my...blood...pressure!  One of my pet peeves is when people do not accept responsibility for their actions.  Just ask my children how that plays out!  Another of my pet peeves is disrespect for others.  My parents introduced  that concept to me as I was growing up, reinforced it, and I have carried it with me. Respect is important in my book....don't disrespect parents, teachers or others.  Kids today both refuse to accept responsibility and show amazing disrespect and it unnerves me.  Well, not to beat a dead horse, but I totally lost my cool and then I felt guilty for doing so.  I hate that flaw in me.  I have to grow thicker skin.  But, alas, I fear I will never change.  I went as far as to buy these same boys a soccer ball (I donated it to the school really) because they like to play soccer during free time after lunch and they always had to depend on someone to bring the ball.  They said thanks, but in my book, actions speak louder than words.  This job is something I chose to do.  And for the most part I love it.  But I hate losing my cool and I hate allowing my blood pressure to rise over something that may not have been a big deal.  But, frankly, it was a big deal.  Give 'em an inch, they take a mile.  I will continue to be who I am and occasionally I probably will lose my cool, but I am determined to teach and succeed.